Drunk Ass Cabbage

I found this on another site and belly laughed hysterically! It's from http://classyfoodmofo.tumblr.com/
The site only has three postings but this one was priceless, so I had to share. I'll have to try the recipe as it sounds pretty good too!


March 17, 2011

Drunk ass cabbage for this drunk ass holiday

Hey Seamus McDrunky, it’s St. Patty’s day. The only time you and your significant other can indulge in flatulence fuel without hating each other (except for that place with the nickel burritos on Cinco de Mayo). I’m not going to tell you how to make fucking corned beef. I’m not Encyclopedia fucking Britannica. But you assholes ALWAYS mess up your cabbage. I swear to Jesus Tapdancing Christ if I smell another pot of your fart-smelling cabbage, I’m going to punch you in the goddamn throat. Use this recipe, or your family will hate you forever. If they don’t already.

1/2 a head of cabbage, chopped to shit
1 red onion, sliced so thin you can see your crappy kitchen through it
1 Tbsp vegetable oil
1 cup of white wine, if you can manage to not guzzle it all.
1 Tbsp garlic, minced with a big fucking knife
1 tsp salt
2 Tbsp red wine vinegar

Heat up a big-ass skillet over medium heat with the oil in it. Toss the cabbage and onions and salt in there and stir it like you fucking mean it. Add the wine and cover the pot for about 15 minutes. Go have some shots or something.

Take the cover off and add pour off all that liquid. It hates you. Hate it back. Add the vinegar and garlic. Let it cook for another minute or two. Or not. I don’t even care.

Serve it with corned beef and enjoy fumigating your house tonight.

French Onion Soup

I didn't go to college (LSU) until 1986 when I was 25 and I put myself through school with the help of my wonderful grandparents. That following November, when I was 26, I came down with the chicken pox. Yes, you read that correctly! Let me repeat it....Twenty-six years old with the chicken pox...UGH. Even when the Board of Health and Hospitals called they didn't believe it, they kept asking for my mother! We went round and round until I finally convinced the woman on the line that YES, I am an adult and YES, I have the chicken pox! Needless to say, it took me a long time to recover, it's true when they say childhood illnesses hit adults particularly hard. I was covered, densely, from head to toe with those little devils!

Fortunately, after several weeks (yep, that's true too), I was recuperating fairly well but I was still contagious and couldn't get out yet. I was bored as heck and bouncing off the walls! My dear friend and neighbor offered to pick up some groceries for me when she went shopping so I gave her a small list. Since it was December by this time, and cold, I inventoried my pantry and decided I had most everything to make a big pot of French Onion Soup.

I had never made it before and was interested in doing something fun to help allieviate my boredom without being too involved as I was still regaining my strength. French Onion Soup is pretty easy to make and is really inexpensive, not to mention soul soothing which was just what I needed. I've tried several recipes over the years and modified them until I came up with the following. The first time I made it and ever since then, I've served it with my Gourmet Chicken Salad with Snow Peas and Water Chestnuts. They make a great combination!

6 large sweet onions, halved lengthwise then sliced
2 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1 stick butter
3 tbl flour
1 cup white wine
8 cans beef broth or equivalent (ie boxed broth)
Salt and ground pepper, to taste
Sliced Gruyere (have the deli slice it for you, it’s free of charge!)
Sliced Parmesan cheese (have the deli slice it also)
Sliced Swiss cheese
1/3 cup Cognac, dry Madeira or dry sherry
6-8 slices toasted, buttered French bread

Slice and caramelize onions in oil and butter. To do this, just add the oil and butter to the pot, heat, then add onions and saute until brown and wilted. You can sprinkle some salt in it to dry up some of the liquid and speed up the process. Usually the onions will not get really dark.

Sprinkle flour over onions and blend well. Slowly add broth, stirring well to blend with flour to avoid lumps then add wine. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Cook at a slow simmer until done about 1-1/2 to 2-1/2 hours, onions should be completely clear.

Ladle into oven safe bowl. Put 1 slice of toasted, buttered French bread into bowl and top with the cheeses. Broil in the oven until brown and bubbly.

***Simply for ease, I just place the cheeses in the bottom of a regular soup bowl, ladle the soup over it, heat it in the microwave until the soup is hot and the cheese is melted, while toasting French bread or a sourdough bun with butter. Then I dip the bread in the soup while eating rather than broiling it all in the traditional method. I love it either way!

HOW TO OPEN A BOTTLE OF WINE WITHOUT A CORKSCREW

How many times have you needed to open a bottle of wine but didn't have a corkscrew because you either forgot it or it broke? Well, here is your solution! You don't need to know French to understand this video! Tres' Bien!

Edith Head's Chicken

Edith Head was a famous Hollywood costume designer who worked for Paramount and Universal from the late 1930's to the early 1980's. She designed gowns for famous actresses such as: Bette Davis, Audrey Hepburn, Elizabeth Taylor and Grace Kelly and was the costume designer for equally famous movies: Roman Holiday, Sabrina, Rear Window and Breakfast at Tiffany's. She also designed Tippi Hedren's wardrobe for The Birds! This is one of her favorite recipes that my grandmother found in Life Magazine in the 1960's. It became one of my grandmother's favorites as well as my mother's and mine.


2 pkgs boneless skinless chicken breasts
2 lb fresh sliced mushrooms
2 lg cans black olives
1 bunch chopped green onions
3 cloves garlic, sliced or minced
2 cans chicken stock
1/2 cup cooking sherry or dry white wine
1/2 stick butter and 1/3 cup olive oil
salt pepper, paprika
Tony's, to taste
Rotini spiral pasta

Season chicken with salt & pepper. Saute in butter and olive oil until brown. Add mushrooms, olives and green onions, cover and simmer until vegetables are wilting. Sprinkle with flour and stir until blended. Add chicken stock, garlic and wine, stir. Sprinkle with paprika and blend. Simmer till tender. Serve over rotini pasta.

***See Tips and Information on Tony's.